On particularly irresistible baby brothers: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Ashley asks
My toddler told me last year I had a baby sister in my belly. She also told her teacher she (the teacher) had a baby in her belly.
Turns out, both allegations were correct. And both these babies had complicated births and were born very early.
She just told me “I’m having a baby brother in March” 😬😬😬 what do?
My answer
Maybe your toddler means "have" as in "make love to". Is she accusing you of keeping your eye on a particularly irresistible nearby baby brother?
Also wait, just occurred to me" re "I'm having a baby brother in March", was that an exact quote? Was "I'm" her exact choice of words, rather than her referring to you? Maybe she's announcing to the world her choice of partner, not yours. Maybe they're the reincarnated Lannister Twins, in which case phew, at least they're both consenting adults inside. That would make this situation a whole lot less iffy.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-particularly-irresistible-baby-brothers-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On outshining the entire human race a hundredfold, pulverising the world's bra industry, lactating helium, 24/7/2 handstands, and frostbitey fashion perfection: today's TERRIBLE advice
“hahaha thanks for the laugh late at night. Poke the neighbors eye out”
Waps of inconceivable vastness and splendour: today’s TERRIBLE advice
“Bahahahahah this is comic genius - hilarious”
How to avoid embarrassing your mum by spreading 10^50 gay gents across the universe: today's TERRIBLE advice
“What makes this funny isn't the shock value for me....it's the escalation. 😂💀😂 Every time I thought I'd found the logical endpoint, the piece somehow introduced cosmology, time travel, or particle physics and made the situation even more absurd. A masterclass in taking a joke far beyond where it should reasonably go. You always have me giggling Mikey! This was great!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?