A graceful guide to menstruating Twink: today's TERRIBLE advice
Sexyverse Advice: Siam’s prettiest hogwash supernova. It's PHAT. It tapdances atop your day's negative-Nellies. It brings you and your homies landslides of laughs and stout hearts. It ups life's Good Bits. You'll love it. Do try some:
Grace asks
I started my period at work and I’m wearing white pants 🥲 what should i do?
My answer
Do what I do. Start menstruating Twink or Tippex or corrective fluid or whatever the hell your bit of the world calls it, so that it won't show up on your white pants. Either that or start a fashion range of pre-menstruated-on pants.
Or, go seriously proper old-school, and perform blowjobs unto every male in the office so heinous and overenthusiastic that they start ejaculating blood, to the point where a few mere boring period-spots might attract pitiful scoffs. Why not start a new TikTok trend?
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/a-graceful-guide-to-menstruating-twink-todays-terrible-advice
😘 THANK YOU 😘
Dude! Thanks so much for reading my unconscionable Bullshit. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Which is shitloads. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
Oh? Hungry for more?
Then today’s your lucky day, you magnificent bastard you:
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE
Do enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
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“Your titles are next level and always make me smile.” 🔗 — marissa heady
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“🤣🤣🤣 I think I piddled laughing so much. 👏😲” 🔗 — Kathy Patterson
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“Mikey, this is a brilliant reminder that life isn't meant to be smoothed over. We've become addicted to the convenience of 'good' advice, but it's the terrible, messy, and absurd stuff that actually makes for a story worth telling.” 🔗 — Swonam Kieran Roul
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“Mikey, this was a fever dream. You need to be locked up. I’ll probably read more LMAO” 🔗 — Joe
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Enjoy oodles more kudos at:
😘 https://mikeyclarke.substack.com/p/reviews 😘
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
I also write novels. If by some horrid miracle you’ve managed to read this far with your sanity still functional, then I reckon they’ll be right up your alley.
*ahem*
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests.
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED 😘
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some Terrible Advice of your own? Post your question in a comment, and I’ll conjure up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.