On choking tornadoes with millions of malnourished dieters: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Shanna asks
*edit*
First batch is here. No more ‘lectricity…
Bad weather coming tonight. Possible tornadoes. What do to prepare?!
Not Ooc. I do know how to prepare for weather I just wanna giggle some and not worry lol!!
* Already have sitting out with a drink to watch it on my list.
My answer
I've always wanted to choke a tornado. I read somewhere that if you use a huge satellite infra-red laser to heat bits of the atmosphere, the tornado will actually move towards the warmer air and you can actually steer them, how cool is that? The question is, what should we choke the tornado with? How about a Jenny Craig world convention? Two in one: you'll annihilate millions of incredibly annoying people, plus also their lighter weight means even quite a weak tornado will loft them airborne. How many millions of malnourished people would we need to smash to bits a tornado's airflow vortices? Only one way to find out.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-choking-tornadoes-with-millions-of-malnourished-dieters-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
Ten thousand tremulous thunder-thighs, the ideal relationship fuel: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Mikey, this was a fever dream. You need to be locked up. I’ll probably read more LMAO”
Everything that's ever happened or ever will happen in the entire goddamn universe: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Mikey, this is a brilliant reminder that life isn't meant to be smoothed over. We've become addicted to the convenience of 'good' advice, but it's the terrible, messy, and absurd stuff that actually makes for a story worth telling.”
On scheming bitches, Antarctic science side quests, extra-gorgeous ponies, and the Zodiac Killer: today's TERRIBLE advice
“I found this a very humorous piece yet it still had insights to serious modern day topics within the scope of relationships. Beautiful work man!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?