Did the SMASH in HULK SMASH mean sex all along? Today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Moodyi asks
ways to hint her that you want to smash
My answer
Smash?
Waaaitasec. When the Incredible Hulk had roared HULK SMASH about twenty thousand times over the last several decades, did he actually mean sex? Present tense?
Yeesh. I mean we all get that various superhero archetypes are supposed to represent various aspects of the human condition, and the Incredible Hulk is supposed to depict the end result of one-dimensional hypermasculine brute strength. But each of the Hulk's media depictions typically featured ol' Hulky literally smashing surrounding shit to bits.
Didn't it? Or is this your way of dropping exquisitely subtle hints to your beloved of your desire to punch her Hulkly? And for obtaining her healthy punchy consent? Well, shit. If both of you are genuinely up for that, who am I to stand in your way? SMASH and GODSPEED, young sir.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/did-the-smash-in-hulk-smash-mean-sex-all-along-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On the surprising advantages of infecting ten thousand douchebag dogs with kissy Covid: today's TERRIBLE advice
“This was such a unique idea ahahahha I never read something like this Coooool”
Mt. Doom vs Chernobyl, billions of twitchy-schnozzed squirrels, and ceramic/asbestos rigor mortis: today’s TERRIBLE advice
“This "Sexyverse Advice" piece is a wild ride through a chaotic, creative landscape that feels like it’s built on a foundation of pure "Terrible Advice." The contrast between the apocalyptic imagery of Mt. Doom and Chernobyl and the surreal visual of "twitchy-schnozzed squirrels" creates a sharp, funky friction. ”
Who should rule the world? Teenagers, that's not who
“Haha - love your writing so much.. 'I cultivate bullshit emeritus!' This made me lol.”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
No but this is great advice lowkey!
😂😑😂 the title...