How extreme-right politics and pus$y-powered insurrections get me really HOT: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Susanna asks
What kind of favors can I use men on tinder for? I was thinking of picking one up tomorrow to help me assemble an ikea furniture that I can't put together by myself. What else can I get random men to do for me?
No ooc
My answer
Don't! Bad idea! Learn from my mistake! Earlier this year [2021, at time of writing] I got bored and set up a fake Tinder account, to see how far I could push and entice various males. I soon realised I'd gone way too far.
Back in January, I chose a foreign city at random for my bogus account, picked Washington D.C., and displayed a cheeky whiff of vag to only a few thousand males. Then I figured it'd be a hilarious idea to tell them there'll be a second whiff on offer if they could just do an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny widdle favour for me ... extreme-right politics gets me really HOT, if you know what I mean! They should totally kick off a pussy-powered insurrection. Right now.
There'll be a third whiff on offer for the first extra-special good widdle boy to literally attack Congress and send me photo proof of them wearing, I dunno, like, like a bearskin hat or something, and 69ing a bust of a historical politician and waving a stars-and-bars flag. Why not a portable gallows? Why not flame? Go nuts! Eh? Eh? Who's keen? Who thirsts for vag?
... Yyyyeah. That backfired!
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/how-extreme-right-politics-and-pusy-powered-insurrections-get-me-really-hot-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
The earthy wisdom of elongating your womb into adjacent postcodes: today's TERRIBLE advice
“At some point the advice stops being advice…and just becomes a ride. And honestly, that’s the fun of it. You show up for help....and leave with absolutely none… but somehow still satisfied. Thanks for getting me to giggle! 😂😂😂😂”
AT LAST an etiquette guide on pistol duels against paleoconservative Gentleman-penises: today's TERRIBLE advice
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Cross-breeding Mike Tyson with Ron Jeremy, monetising concussions, and flaying Ayn Rand fans: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Wow that's some of the most hilarious and funniest, wildest shit I ever read! Thank you! That's absolutely fucking brilliant! Like the Mike Tyson/Ron Jeremy mash up!? Genius!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
Well, just imagine the funny pictures that went through my mind as I was reading this . I’m glad you didn’t miss any love connections in Washington.