On the sublime wisdom of lactating paprika on request: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Lydia asks
My depression has been extra 💫 spicy 💫 lately. What can I do to feel any joy?!
My answer
Feel Joy? My traditional go-to, and this may work for you as well, has been to fondle the breasts of as many ladies named Joy as you possibly can (only with their happy healthy informed consent, naturally. No consent, no Joy-feel! Urge https://sive.rs/hellyeah to be her guide). Feel as much Joy as you can. For bonus points, nickname the left breast "nutmeg" and the right breast "ginger". I also find that most women are great sports about this kind of thing, and will happily lactate paprika on request.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-the-sublime-wisdom-of-lactating-paprika-on-request-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
Today's TERRIBLE advice: concerning Strength and Wisdom through Rage Cake
“Ha! Got a good chuckle from this one, lol. 🤣🎂💯”
Today's TERRIBLE advice: I am one in Him, and He is one in Me, wink wink
“🫢🤭🫣 lol. Honestly, I'm not even gonna judge this terrible advice. I think the question was terrible as well. A terrible question, deserves a terrible advice. 😄”
AT LAST an etiquette guide on pistol duels against paleoconservative Gentleman-penises: today's TERRIBLE advice
“This was equal parts hilarious and delightful. The imagery here was absolute prime status. Particularly the penis-pogo action 😂 I actually laughed out loud, and I thank you for that 🩵”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?