How synchronising all rabbit births makes Stalin's Great Terror nose-twitchingly snuggly: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Michelle asks
How to induce labor? No OOC plz
My answer
Why not do what I do? Hang out around rabbit warrens and assume leadership of their orgies. Turns out rabbits are surprisingly suggestible on orgy policy. Rabbits have a gestation period of only six weeks. It's awesome. Turns out they sychronise their births, too. Why not give it the ol' college try? You'll be post-partum-depressed before you know it.
That said ... they say assuming makes an anus of u and me, right? Here's me hallucinating that you super-duper must be talking about giving birth. Maybe you mean labor as in work. Maybe you're a Communist. Maybe you're trying to kick off a Worker's Paradise revolution for you and all your fellow rabbit orgy enthusiasts. In which case ... honestly, that sounds kinda rad. Count me in, bae. What historical ripples might you and I dare dream of kicking off? Might the Soviet Union Great Terror of 1936 have been less pants-shittingly terrifying and more nose-twitchingly snuggly if Stalin's bugbear had concerned the unconscionable drought of hot hot rabbit orgies and labor-inductions? Only one way to find out, right? So get humping and get labor-ing and you and I might just make history teensily less Terrifying.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/how-synchronising-all-rabbit-births-makes-stalins-great-terror-nose-twitchingly-snuggly-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
Ten thousand tremulous thunder-thighs, the ideal relationship fuel: today's TERRIBLE advice
“This was so epic! I loved this line: "The love and affection that you and your ex(?)-beloved together share shrieks with such volcanic passionate ecstasy that your mental and emotional powers over your body have increased a hundredfold." Your writing had me giggling! Awesome job!”
On combating shoplifting accusations by dribbling lab ethanol on every breathalyser in Christendom: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Your writing is seriously entertaining! It’s like a breath of hilarious air. Thanks so much for keeping my feed funny. Yours is one of few posts I read where I actually laugh out loud 🩵”
On your cherished pet bunnies judging you a stinkin' softcock, and on thwarting their hideous psychological Thunderdomes: today's TERRIBLE advice
“The parenthetical where you draw a firm ethical line at torturing live bystander rabbits, while merrily crucifying the dead ones for maximum psychological effect, is the best bit of restraint I've read this week. Commitment to the bit, respected. Subscribed.”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?