It never rains but it pours. With dough re mi. Into your boss's face. Today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Alexis asks
Doing secret Santa at work, I got my boss as the person I have to get a gift for, what can I get her? $25 limit
My answer
Exchange the $25 (I'm guessing US) into its equivalent in Zimbabwean dollars (and sorry to pick on Zimbabwe's dudes and/or dudettes here, no disrespect, it's just come on, have you seen your currency lately?)
Next Sunday morning at 3am, camp outside your boss's house. And then make it rain, as I hear today's cool kids phrase it, for the next 27 years.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/12/it-never-rains-but-it-pours-with-dough-re-mi-into-your-bosss-face-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On outshining the entire human race a hundredfold, pulverising the world's bra industry, lactating helium, 24/7/2 handstands, and frostbitey fashion perfection: today's TERRIBLE advice
“THIS WAS SOO COOL TO READ”
On scheming bitches, Antarctic science side quests, extra-gorgeous ponies, and the Zodiac Killer: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Your titles are next level and always make me smile.”
Kapowing distinguished gents into the ionosphere 24/7 via wholesome sideboob: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Man, some solid ass advice as always, I need to start submitting my own problems to you jajajaj need some of that Mikey wisdom!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?