On nuking every fault line monthly and showing Mother Nature who's boss: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Sarah asks
Just had a 5.3 earthquake and I live in the Shaky Isles of NZ on the Pacific rim of fire. What do
My answer
This one! https://www.geonet.org.nz/earthquake/2021p767783 I'm in Wellington and felt it too.
My standard policy on earthquakes has for many fruitful years been to nuke every fault line monthly to show Mother Nature who's boss. Works a treat. I haven't experienced an 8+-quake in months. Plate tectonics are just too scared of me. That said, a few weeks ago, vulcanologists started bitching about the local https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taupō_Volcano gathering its seismic strength for some kind of pathetic strop. I'm about to hit it with a few dozen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bombas to give it a thorough kicking and resume tranquil tectonic subservience. I'll let you know how it goes.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-nuking-every-fault-line-monthly-and-showing-mother-nature-whos-boss-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On making the worst porno in the world: today's TERRIBLE advice
“This was not where I expected this to go at all! Wildly unhinged, but very committed to the bit. I kept thinking surely it can’t escalate further, and then it absolutely did. Thanks for sharing.”
The earthy wisdom of elongating your womb into adjacent postcodes: today's TERRIBLE advice
“At some point the advice stops being advice…and just becomes a ride. And honestly, that’s the fun of it. You show up for help....and leave with absolutely none… but somehow still satisfied. Thanks for getting me to giggle! 😂😂😂😂”
On Dark Triad gigantic assholes, Habsburg jaws, sweet sweet world domination, and devouring clients' noxious juices: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Haha cheers Mikey. Really funny, enjoyable read 🤣 at the start I was like wth 😂😂 but nicely tied together. Cheers mate!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?



