On recovering your Huge Cat ancestors' esteem by piloting your human around like a fleshy mech: today's TERRIBLE advice

FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:

Amanda asks

I'm trapped, what do?

lykyk

My answer

Tell your human mattress that how dare she wear such comfy hoodies.

I recall encountering a scientific study the other day which discovered that when dog-humans die, the dogs defend their master's and/or mistress's decomposing corpse for all eternity.

But with cats? Holy balls. Cats will kick off dining upon …