On rejuvenating shite grub into exquisite ambrosia by guzzling pints of 800C+ molten salt: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Joshua asks
Hey guys, it’s me again. I’m still high.
I put too much salt in my popcorn, how to separate salt from the popcorn so it’s not too salty?
My answer
Couldn't you add more unsalted popcorn? Then the salt density of your overall popcorn stockpile will drop. Either that, or first gobble like an entire cup of salt, so that your mildly-salty popcorn will taste relatively less salty. Problem solved.
And for best popcorn-delicious-ify-ing results, maximise the Homo-sapiens-(you(?))-solubility of your pre-popcorn salt cup, by fully liquefying it.
But there are two physical mechanisms for making salt go liquid, aren't there: the SHITE way, and the RAD way. Choose wisely. Don't just dissolve your salt into your boring ol' bog-standard briny slurry. That's for suckers and weenies and filthy popcorn-disrespecting casuals. You're not a filthy popcorn-disrespecting casual, are you? 'Course you're not. You're one of us. You're cool. Right? Aren't you? Yeah?
Then prove it, suckah. Don't dissolve your salt. Literally melt it.
Sodium chloride melts at 801C. Pop along to your nearest glassworks or iron foundry or equivalent rad pad sporting kit capable of hitting such volcanic highs. Bring popcorn, bring salt, and get cracking, you gnarly bastard you. Should you chug a pint of delicious nourishing 801C+ liquid sodium chloride, I guarantee you that any future conventional popcorn consumption will make you squeal with ecstasy. Why would I lie?
Hell, I'd imagine that subsequently yumming down on anyshite not a molten salt would feel relatively blissful compared to drinking molten friggin' sodium chloride. All other foodstuffs become exquisite ambrosia in comparison. Only one way to find out, right? Go on. Where's your enterprising spirit, you filthy casual? Give it a whirl. Encourage your peers too: perhaps this may assist with encouraging toddlers to yum down their horrid horrid broccoli.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/10/on-rejuvenating-shite-grub-into-exquisite-ambrosia-by-guzzling-pints-of-800c-molten-salt-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On jettisoning surplus estrogen at heinous velocities, Tiberium/testosterone hybrids, and The Voluptuousifier strikes back: today's TERRIBLE advice
“HA! I'm not 100% sure what I'm listening to here, but I know it's original... and subversive. So, you have my vote.”
A goddess so magnificent melts before MOI? I'm phenomenal! Plus further ego-stroking manipulative bullshit: today's TERRIBLE advice
“"a goddess so magnificent melts before moi?" may be one of the funniest descriptions of male ego I've read in a while.”
On scheming bitches, Antarctic science side quests, extra-gorgeous ponies, and the Zodiac Killer: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Hoooollllyyyy shit Mikey! The transition from "your husband might be keeping secrets" to "maybe she's running a wedding-vow-renewal side hustle at the South Pole" was so fucking wild that by the end I was fully invested in the horse conspiracy. 😂😂😂😂😂😂”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
I have absolutely no idea where your brain comes up with this stuff, but it gave me a laugh. Lol!