On steamy dalliances via concentric skin ponchos: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Tia asks
How do I get someone to leave their wife and be with me instead?
My answer
Adjust your diet and exercise regimen to match the wife's physique as closely as possible, then hire the best makeup artists in the world to make it totally ambiguous to your beloved whether you're wearing their wife's skin as a horrible poncho, or their wife is wearing your skin as a horrible poncho. Or, hell, both at once. Best of both worlds!
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-steamy-dalliances-via-concentric-skin-ponchos-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
Today's TERRIBLE advice: concerning Strength and Wisdom through Rage Cake
“Ha! Got a good chuckle from this one, lol. 🤣🎂💯”
A goddess so magnificent melts before MOI? I'm phenomenal! Plus further ego-stroking manipulative bullshit: today's TERRIBLE advice
“"a goddess so magnificent melts before moi?" may be one of the funniest descriptions of male ego I've read in a while.”
On rejuvenating shite grub into exquisite ambrosia by guzzling pints of 800C+ molten salt: today's TERRIBLE advice
“I have absolutely no idea where your brain comes up with this stuff, but it gave me a laugh. Lol!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?