On styling ALL your man's hair zones into atrocious nocturnal half-buns: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Stephanie asks
***More wonderful style suggestion attempts in comments 10/1 😂 y'all are the best!
*updated photos in Comments! 😂😂 I'll do more tmrw if y'all would like!
My husband told me today my hair in a half bun is atrocious! This isn't the first time, & hearing him yammer on about it, or give me the "you really wearing your hair like that" judgy ass eyes is getting old. How might I make this hairstyle even more of an atrocity for him?
EtA: so many responses! I'll be trying a few out tmrw, see which one can top the monstrosity 😂😂.
I'll keep everyone updated 😁❤️
My answer
In his sleep, style his own hair into a series of atrocious half-buns.
But not just his head hair. All hair zones. His pubes. His armpits. His bum fluff. Even his eyebrows, if you can wangle it. Though you might need to accidentally-on-purpose spill Rogaine on his eyebrows for a few months first, to coax enough hair length to practicably man-bun-ify matters.
Though, hell, if you've got enough nocturnal Rogaine for that, why confine yourself to eyebrows? Go full Chewbacca on your beau's buttocks, both metaphorically and literally. You could sculpt your beloved into the most rectal man-bunned hipster in history. And let me tell you from hideous personal experience, you'd be up against some pretty stiff competition. Shoot for the stars, sistah!
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-styling-all-your-mans-hair-zones-into-atrocious-nocturnal-half-buns-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On making the worst porno in the world: today's TERRIBLE advice
“This was not where I expected this to go at all! Wildly unhinged, but very committed to the bit. I kept thinking surely it can’t escalate further, and then it absolutely did. Thanks for sharing.”
On your cherished pet bunnies judging you a stinkin' softcock, and on thwarting their hideous psychological Thunderdomes: today's TERRIBLE advice
“The parenthetical where you draw a firm ethical line at torturing live bystander rabbits, while merrily crucifying the dead ones for maximum psychological effect, is the best bit of restraint I've read this week. Commitment to the bit, respected. Subscribed.”
NZ shirt dimensions: twig arms and parachute torsos and hypersonic hashtag-boss-bitches
“Your writing always makes me smile because your work never feels like “reading a post”. It's more like sitting near a high energy, over-caffeinated guy at a bar telling a story while the bar slowly loses it laughing 😂”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
The only thing worse is a 20-something wearing a backwards ball cap giving a 'master class' on ANYTHING. Also: wearing socks and sandals while eating pineapple pizza will probably saddle me with a manslaughter charge. This is why I never go out and if I do I lock my car doors in case another poet comes begging change, fashion advice or gluten-free quarters.
Dead to me. Utterly.