On temporal-duplicate boozy cuteness and roommates' cats' birthday parties: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group fuels GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Another Q/A session courtesy of A group where we give TERRIBLE advice
Kaylah asks
Tldr: I agreed to drive super far to meet with a tinder match and I don’t feel like going anymore, so how should I cancel on him?
So I agreed to hang out with a tinder match today but I’m hungover, he’s 60 miles away, he sent me a really gross message last night, aaaand I remembered my roommates cats birthday party is today. Plus I met a really cute guy completely by chance last night and so I’m not really even interested in tinder guy anymore. Needless to say I think the universe is telling me that I should not meet up with him 😅 So my question is what excuse should I give him for canceling last second?
My answer
Tell him you’re him from the past. Why doesn’t he remember being you? Because you discovered your future self was such a magnificent disappointment, that’s why: so magnificent, and so disappointing, that you’re about to drink yourself to death. And he’ll fail at that too, duh.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/12/on-temporal-duplicate-boozy-cuteness-and-roommates-cats-birthday-parties-todays-terrible-advice
YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.
Further Reading: The SEXYVERSE NOVELS
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
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