How to negotiate a tattoo on one's perineum of the entire Internet, updated in real time, including this page describing it: today's TERRIBLE advice

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Deanne asks

I just got a voucher for a whole day with my tattoo artist. What should I get?

My answer

The Internet. All of it.

The whole dang thing. Every single page, post, article, and comment ever written. Including this page right here, describing said tattoo.

Command the tattooist to tattoo the Internet. On your perineum. Right now. And insist that the t…