On the sublime wisdom of bumming a 100-lion choir: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Ashanti asks
Mountain lion screaming outside my work
what do?
My answer
Assemble another 99 of them, physically arrange them in order of trachea size like throaty Pan pipes, and start a 100-lion choir.
Think of the publicity! You'll become the darling of every zany TV talk show. How might one make a mountain lion scream and fulfil its choir responsibilities? By making this group’s Terrible Advisers proud and doing its dad, I suppose, so you'll also need to gather the 100 mountain lion dads, pair them with their progeny, and then systematically romance them, one by one, like you're playing a ginormous pelvic feline xylophone. It'd be like the Tiger King TV show all over again but even gayer.
Wouldn't it? I'd never watched the show myself, but just kind of assumed it involved bumming hundreds of tigers.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2025/5/on-the-sublime-wisdom-of-bumming-a-100-lion-choir-todays-terrible-advice
YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.
Further Reading: The SEXYVERSE NOVELS
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Crave more bullshit laughs? Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED. And it’ll make me incredibly happy. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?