Things worked out well for Twiggy, yeah? Today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Phoenix asks
I have a flat butt. What do?
My answer
Is that really a problem? Things worked out pretty well for Twiggy.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/things-worked-out-well-for-twiggy-yeah-todays-terrible-advice
Hungry for more?
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On scheming bitches, Antarctic science side quests, extra-gorgeous ponies, and the Zodiac Killer: today's TERRIBLE advice
“The article is essentially literary jazz played by a man who appears to have consumed three espressos and an encyclopedia of Antarctic history. 💯🔥 That last part might actually be the highest compliment I can give it. The piece feels like a mind having fun with itself. Appreciate you, Mikey!🫡”
On combining embryonic womb-ly Powers like a horrible maternal Captain Planet: Today's TERRIBLE advice
“Thanks for sharing! Your response surely weaponizes the "escalation of the absurd" trope to solve a mundane social dilemma. If anyone has the courage to use Mr. Escobar's line to their family, they probably will never be invited to a family gathering again...”
On charging oil barons through the nose as a human drill bit: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Hahahaha. Thank for this advice, Mikey. Keep those Terrible Advices coming. Happy writing. Enjoyed reading this column of yours. 🙂😁”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?