How George Foreman being an oafish piece of poontang dovetails with your Mademoiselle Waifu's NEEDS: today's TERRIBLE advice
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Pat and/or Mohammed Ali asks
after sleeping with my mistress and going three rounds last night..,, i am as sore as hell ,.. and now my girlfriend is planning a romantic night tonight with fireplace and all,.. how do i avoid sex tonight ?
My answer
For the purposes of this answer I shall assume you're Mohammed Ali. That's honestly a safer bet than you might think. It's usually him.
Solving this is easy peasy. For maximum marital bliss, all you have to do is break down in a shrieking tantrum before your girlfriend, and admit to her that you'd been having a torrid and passionate affair with George Foreman. For you're the first person who dared call him your "mistress". He was gobsmacked to discover he'd never been so turned on in his life.
Obviously you had to consummate your forbidden volcanic passions. Your prior night's bloodthirsty rumpy pumpy for three entire rounds left you both bruised and battered and with your Bottom so spongy-sore you need entire armadas of extra-fluffy beanbags from all Foreman's Topping.
But take it from me also, dawg, Foreman is an unconscionably oafish and self-centred piece of poontang. He's unbelievable! He'll happily fake OUR orgasms. I discovered that bullshit the hard way!
So your dick remains the only bit of your anatomy neglected and intact. And let's face facts: that's all Mademoiselle Waifu is after. So I really have no idea what you're bitching about. Your gal has Needs. Meet them, suckah. Geez, dude, can't you embrace your feminine side once in a while?
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2026/3/how-george-foreman-being-an-oafish-piece-of-poontang-dovetails-with-your-mademoiselle-waifus-needs-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
Who should rule the world? Teenagers, that's not who
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On conscripting lesbian bitches and gay male dogs through Pray-The-Gay-Away camps for rich entitled floozies: today's TERRIBLE advice
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On scheming bitches, Antarctic science side quests, extra-gorgeous ponies, and the Zodiac Killer: today's TERRIBLE advice
“this was so clever and hysterical, especially like the South pole as a wedding venue so your marriage literally can't go south. funny shit!!! subscribed!”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?