On the creation and stimulation of even sexier Plutonian space babes and/or hunks: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Selena asks
During s3xy talk I've accidentally called my bf's peepee smol. Now he's off3nded.
What do to repair damage 🙁
My answer
Why not both move to Pluto?
I hear its winters are so bloody cold that for half of Pluto's 248-Earth-year year, the atmosphere literally freezes and falls from the sky. Simply construct the Solar System's first(?)-ever habitat dome with a glory hole.
Not one of these. https://www.kilns.co.uk/kilns/glass-blowing-glory-... A naughty one. Then, ask him to stand outside the habitat dome, in hard vacuum, with his peepee protruding in.
Now wait for the minus-infinity outside temperatures to freeze your beloved's non-penisey regions rock-hard in all the best ways. Also it'll induce some hellish thermal contraction: not only will these non-penisey body parts shrink and contract and make his gonads appear larger by comparison, problem solved bitch, but the gonads themselves will remain toasty warm via the glory hole and still available for use. Result!
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/5/on-the-creation-and-stimulation-of-even-sexier-plutonian-space-babes-and-or-hunks-todays-terrible-advice
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Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE posts
Enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
On hijacking communion wine with anti-tank guns for drug lord infants: today's TERRIBLE advice
“that's really terrifying and at the same time intense. Really enjoyed it Thanks for sharing and keep writing 💫”
You'll have the spangliest vulva in Christendom: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Wow this is different from what I usually read, but this is great!”
On scheming bitches, Antarctic science side quests, extra-gorgeous ponies, and the Zodiac Killer: today's TERRIBLE advice
“Your titles are next level and always make me smile.”
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
*ahem*
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED.
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?