The most American and/or delicious reaction possible to the latest heinous Y'all Qaeda porn ban: today's TERRIBLE advice

FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group nourishes GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:

Reya asks

Today I went to Taco Bell. I pulled up to the speaker and said “I’ll have a Doritos locos taco, regular” and the employee goes “you mean you WANT a Doritos locos taco” i guess she didn’t like how I said it cuz It was like a teacher in elementary school when you say “can I go to the bathroom”

How else should I order my fast food to make the employees happy with my wording?

My answer

Easy peasy. Reply thusly:

“No, I do mean HAVE the taco, as in make love to the taco. I’m going to fuck it. Isn’t that what they’re for? I though that was the whole point of Taco Bell. I and these other hundreds of people around us are all here to purchase this restaurant’s delightful selection of edible Fleshlights. Am I right? You lot in the car behind? Am I right? Yeah. Damn right I am. Yum yum YUM. This right here is America’s truest and most Stars-and-friggin’-Stripes answer to religious-nutjob porn bans. Fast food you can fuck. Now hand over my newest waifu, you goddamn Commie.”

Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2022/5/the-most-american-and-or-delicious-reaction-possible-to-the-latest-heinous-yall-qaeda-porn-ban-todays-terrible-advice​

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YOUR TURN

Fancy some boutique TERRIBLE advice of your own? Comment your question or dilemma, and I’ll magic up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.

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Further Reading: The SEXYVERSE NOVELS

IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests:

The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse

Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar

Might Earth's free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain's Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let's assassinate France's Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What's the worst that could happen?

Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb

Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it's wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it's stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.

Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy

Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!

Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes

The game's up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth's free nations forever perish.

Part Five: [soon, baby]

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Crave more bullshit laughs? Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED. And it’ll make me incredibly happy. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?