On chicken cloacas and their multidimensional PMS: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Tóta asks
I was complaining about my shitty period in the complaining group and someone got offended for talking about such private matters on an open forum, and they also feel sorry for me that my parents didn't teach me any manners. What do?
My answer
When you say "shitty period", how literal are we talking about? Do you have a cloaca? You're not a chicken, are you? Happens more frequently than you might think. Maybe the person was annoyed at you digging up the front garden for worms again. My girl drives me nuts doing that. She claims worms are great for soothing PMS, but you can get worms anywhere.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-chicken-cloacas-and-their-multidimensional-pms-todays-terrible-advice
😘 THANK YOU 😘
Dude! Thanks so much for reading my unconscionable Bullshit. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Which is shitloads. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
Oh? Hungry for more?
Then today’s your lucky day, you magnificent bastard you:
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE
Do enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
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“This is hilarious! I used to think all cats were female when I was a little kid and all dogs were male. haha” 🔗 — Simone Says
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“Unhinged, absurd, and oddly fun read, it just keeps escalating and I loved it.” 🔗 — Sankha Ghosh
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“The comparison of 'supple squishy femme-b0is' being the microplastics to Fabio’s asbestos is top-tier. You’ve captured that exact point where the 'overlords' just swapped one extreme for another and called it progress. I respect the call for a world where there’s 'oodles of room' for all appetites ... I’m locking into your frequency because it’s rare to find this much grit and humor in the same room.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“Hey 🤍This was absolutely chaotic in the best way possible. You had me laughing from start to finish. The way the absurdity just kept escalating was brilliant. Your imagination is wild! ” 🔗 — FL for life
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😘 Read more at https://mikeyclarke.substack.com/p/reviews 😘
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
I also write novels. If by some horrid miracle you’ve managed to read this far with your sanity still functional, then I reckon they’ll be right up your alley.
*ahem*
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests.
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED 😘
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some Terrible Advice of your own? Post your question in a comment, and I’ll conjure up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.