Reviews
People say such wonderful things. Great gracious gumdrops:
“Wow this is different from what I usually read, but this is great!” 🔗 — Bookfairy, Keeper of the Ink
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“Nonsense? Ahahahaha naaaahhh it's peak writing” 🔗 — TheARTofheART
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“Your commitment to the premise is what sells it. By the time you got to the rabbits studying every personality quirk and cognitive weakness, I was invested. 😂 Keep doing ya thing, you've definitely got your own voice.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“This was gloriously unhinged from start to finish. 😂 The absurd escalation from "gay dogs" to "cats caused by conversion camps" had me laughing because it never pretended to be anything but satire. Underneath the chaos, though, there's a sharp jab at the ridiculousness of trying to "fix" someone's identity. The humor is outrageous, but the point lands. Looking forward to reading more of your beautifully deranged "Terrible Advice."” 🔗 — Arwa
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“What really impressed me is the hidden discipline underneath the silliness. People see chaos. I see structure. Every callback reinforces the central absurdity. Every tangent eventually loops back to the original premise. Every joke increases the pressure on the same narrative balloon.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“Substack needs more of this glorious creative chaos. The 'separate postcode' theory is a masterpiece of terrible wisdom. Keeping this in mind for the next time life gets too loud” 🔗 — romy
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“Haha cheers Mikey. Really funny, enjoyable read 🤣 at the start I was like wth 😂😂 but nicely tied together. Cheers mate!” 🔗 — Ash - The Reset Protocol 📈🧠🏋️
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“THIS WAS SOO COOL TO READ” 🔗 — richierach
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“See this is what I love. Monsieur Taniwha didn’t need to exist. And yet here we are, better for it. This is what happens when someone actually thinks before dispensing advice — you get a full geopolitical and sexual history of a fictional New Zealander before arriving, somehow perfectly, at the point. Unhinged. Thorough. Oddly moving. I’d like “seconds” of this kind of chaos please ❤️” 🔗 — By Your Own Measure
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“What makes this funny is that beneath all the ridiculousness, there's a grain of truth hiding in there. Not about sleeping with your boyfriend's father, obviously, but about how often people justify behavior by appealing to someone else's ego, blind spots, or assumptions.” 🔗 — Genovie | Grown From Scratch
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“🤣 oh I can't help but post an emoji on Substack for this one! Love it!” 🔗 — Happy Day by Day
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“You're fucking hilarious.” 🔗 — Pep WritesShortShorts
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“"a goddess so magnificent melts before moi?" may be one of the funniest descriptions of male ego I've read in a while.” 🔗 — Genovie | Grown From Scratch
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“Man, some solid ass advice as always, I need to start submitting my own problems to you jajajaj need some of that Mikey wisdom!” 🔗 — Mikel Pascacio
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“I have absolutely no idea where your brain comes up with this stuff, but it gave me a laugh. Lol!” 🔗 — Dino
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“I had so much fun reading this” 🔗 — Eris Index
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““I beg of you, don’t unleash Jordan Peterson on us again!” Nearly spit out the coffee with that one! Can always come here for a good belly laugh 🩵” 🔗 — Stephanie Macisco
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“Your titles are next level and always make me smile.” 🔗 — marissa heady
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“As a perimenopausal woman, I must protest the fact that I laughed so hard at this -- tut-tut like a cranky lesbian great-aunt scorning an orgy’s lube drought -- that I almost peed myself.” 🔗 — Jamie Lee
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“Came for life coaching advice, somehow ended up with European royal genetics and the downfall of an empire 😂 10/10 journey.” 🔗 — The Trendy Psychiatrist
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“I found this a very humorous piece yet it still had insights to serious modern day topics within the scope of relationships. Beautiful work man!” 🔗 — Charles
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“This was so epic! I loved this line: "The love and affection that you and your ex(?)-beloved together share shrieks with such volcanic passionate ecstasy that your mental and emotional powers over your body have increased a hundredfold." Your writing had me giggling! Awesome job!” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“At some point the advice stops being advice…and just becomes a ride. And honestly, that’s the fun of it. You show up for help....and leave with absolutely none… but somehow still satisfied. Thanks for getting me to giggle! 😂😂😂😂” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“Dude i just read the title and im crying Sexy crying Then came the article and let us not mention what happened there” 🔗 — Kobi One
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“I love how this takes such an ordinary workplace question and pushes it to its most ridiculous possible conclusion. You definitely have me giggling over here 😂😂😂 The visual of someone wearing everyone's business clothes at once was hysterical lol! It's a fun reminder that creativity often comes from asking, "What's the most impossible answer?" and then following it wherever it leads. Thank you so much for the laughs as always! 😂” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“Love this Mikey:) It’s totally mad and sane at the very same time. So much fun to read. I had never considered the connection between squirrels, NZ, volcanoes, and toxified soil together before (maybe no surprise there), and you somehow have. Keep the ‘terrible’ advice coming. Can’t get enough of it.” 🔗 — Digressions with Dilip
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On provoking savage packs of lovely dreamy drill-instructor-sergeant-poofs: today's TERRIBLE advice
“I loved your humour! I wish you a wonderful day!” 🔗 — Nick Hills
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“Mikey, this was a fever dream. You need to be locked up. I’ll probably read more LMAO” 🔗 — Joe
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“The world needs to take a look at itself and laugh at itself for once in the mirror maybe there will be a lot less wars!? Laughter is the best medicine and your stories give them in spades!?” 🔗 — Raven Silk Author
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“We all need terrible (funny) advice sometimes, and you've got plenty stored up there!” 🔗 — James O'Neill
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“Bahahahahah this is comic genius - hilarious” 🔗 — Eva Solen
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“This reads like someone doing stand-up comedy directly on the page. The energy never settles, and that commitment to the bit is honestly impressive. Every sentence feels like it’s trying to outdo the previous one, which creates this chaotic rhythm that somehow keeps working instead of collapsing under its own absurdity. It also feels incredibly conversational....like you can almost hear the timing, pauses, and escalating delivery in the author’s voice as the rant spirals further into madness. Really had me giggling! Thanks for sharing!” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“If you are looking for a good laugh, you have to check out Mikey Clark’s work! 😂 This line absolutely got me. The image is so absurd that you can't help but laugh, and that's what makes it stick. You will love how Mikey takes an everyday office question and escalated it into complete, unapologetic chaos. Epic stuff here… you should give it a read…. 😂” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“Lol that was pure comedy😂😂 I didn’t mean to laugh that hard🤣 great writing, you made my day❤️” 🔗 — Lakalia Farrington
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“What makes this funny isn't the shock value for me....it's the escalation. 😂💀😂 Every time I thought I'd found the logical endpoint, the piece somehow introduced cosmology, time travel, or particle physics and made the situation even more absurd. A masterclass in taking a joke far beyond where it should reasonably go. You always have me giggling Mikey! This was great!” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“The article is essentially literary jazz played by a man who appears to have consumed three espressos and an encyclopedia of Antarctic history. 💯🔥 That last part might actually be the highest compliment I can give it. The piece feels like a mind having fun with itself. Appreciate you, Mikey!🫡” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“Love it, I'm constantly stressed out about my lawn! This is funny, thanks Mikey!” 🔗 — Simone Says
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“This is hilarious! I used to think all cats were female when I was a little kid and all dogs were male. haha” 🔗 — Simone Says
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“There is a radical sovereignty in embracing this kind of creative chaos. While the rest of the world is looking for sanitized, "perfect" advice, you are documenting the anatomy of a "fabulous" sort of madness. Using a squirrel in a crosshair as the visual anchor for a post about "Terrible Advice" is a bold move—it’s like a warning and a celebration all at once. It takes a certain level of grit and a total shuttering of the ego to find the "fab" in a ceramic/asbestos rigor mortis situation.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“HA! I'm not 100% sure what I'm listening to here, but I know it's original... and subversive. So, you have my vote.” 🔗 — Sea Hag Confidential
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“Hoooollllyyyy shit Mikey! The transition from "your husband might be keeping secrets" to "maybe she's running a wedding-vow-renewal side hustle at the South Pole" was so fucking wild that by the end I was fully invested in the horse conspiracy. 😂😂😂😂😂😂” 🔗 — Spinelli
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“This is brilliantly written, interesting and humorous. It’s like if you were to take life advice from Terry Tibbs 🤔✨” 🔗 — Joanna
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“Hey 🤍This was absolutely chaotic in the best way possible. You had me laughing from start to finish. The way the absurdity just kept escalating was brilliant. Your imagination is wild! ” 🔗 — FL for life
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“that's really terrifying and at the same time intense. Really enjoyed it Thanks for sharing and keep writing 💫” 🔗 — VedJournal ✍️📜
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“I was not prepared for where this was going. 😂 The "intermediate asshole of daring and vigorous ambition" absolutely sent me.” 🔗 — Shivani
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“MIKEY!!!!!! This. Was. Completely... UNHINGED!!! I loved every second of it. You need to be out giving EVERYBODY relationship advice because OBVIOUSLY this is the only real answer to Kate's relationship probs. This was a very easy instant subscribe!” 🔗 — Spinelli
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“Your writing always makes me smile because your work never feels like “reading a post”. It's more like sitting near a high energy, over-caffeinated guy at a bar telling a story while the bar slowly loses it laughing 😂” 🔗 — Spinelli
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“As a perimenopausal woman, I must protest the fact that I laughed so hard at this -- tut-tut like a cranky lesbian great-aunt scorning an orgy’s lube drought -- that I almost peed myself.” 🔗 — Jamie Lee
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“This was hilarious in the most wonderfully chaotic way. I was laughing the entire time because every paragraph somehow became more absurd than the last, yet it still managed to circle back to the original question. The leap from relationship drama to Antarctic research grants, doomed South Pole weddings, and extra-gorgeous ponies was completely unhinged in the best possible way. Pure creative chaos, and somehow it works perfectly.” 🔗 — Ordinary But Unique
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“Actually the world needs this kind heinous stuff to wake up it's candy ass a bit🤣 🤣 🤣” 🔗 — Raven Silk Author
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“I genuinely don’t know whether I just read a comedy piece, a physics lecture, or a fever dream from another dimension. Either way, the commitment to the bit is impressive” 🔗 — Pranil
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“hahaha thanks for the laugh late at night. Poke the neighbors eye out” 🔗 — Aras
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“I have absolutely no idea where your brain comes up with this stuff, but it gave me a laugh. Lol!” 🔗 — Dino
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“Hahahaha. Thank for this advice, Mikey. Keep those Terrible Advices coming. Happy writing. Enjoyed reading this column of yours. 🙂😁” 🔗 — Dwight Norman x Tikbalang
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“100%. Unapologetic confidence is an absolute superpower. When you fully own the groove, the energy is just plain infectious. Legend status. Crushing it Mikey!” 🔗 — Pratik Batha
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“This "Sexyverse Advice" piece is a wild ride through a chaotic, creative landscape that feels like it’s built on a foundation of pure "Terrible Advice." The contrast between the apocalyptic imagery of Mt. Doom and Chernobyl and the surreal visual of "twitchy-schnozzed squirrels" creates a sharp, funky friction. It captures that exact moment when the "Good Bits" of life are found in the most unpredictable and glorious messes.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“I enjoyed this! The mix of random observations, humour and curiosity made it a lot of fun to read.” 🔗 — claudia
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“I can always trust Mikey to swoop in with solid advice. Truly the King Solomon of our time” 🔗 — Joe
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“At some point the advice stops being advice…and just becomes a ride. And honestly, that’s the fun of it. You show up for help....and leave with absolutely none… but somehow still satisfied. Thanks for getting me to giggle! 😂😂😂😂” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“That was certainly a…….thang wasn’t it? Excuse me, it’s Monday and I have to wash out my brain 🧠” 🔗 — Lea
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“Wow that's some of the most hilarious and funniest, wildest shit I ever read! Thank you! That's absolutely fucking brilliant! Like the Mike Tyson/Ron Jeremy mash up!? Genius!” 🔗 — Raven Silk Author
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“Ahahah first laugh of the day!” 🔗 — Nick Hills
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“That's some phd level answer you have written in your article Really loved it Thanks for sharing and keep writing 💫” 🔗 — VedJournal ✍️📜
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“The parenthetical where you draw a firm ethical line at torturing live bystander rabbits, while merrily crucifying the dead ones for maximum psychological effect, is the best bit of restraint I've read this week. Commitment to the bit, respected. Subscribed.” 🔗 — John Madrid
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“Oh my god, this is exactly the kind of chaotic energy which makes me love internet... 😂😂” 🔗 — Varshuuu🎀
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“The title has already got me interested. These are such amazing and interesting topics that you write about. I can’t wait to read them.” 🔗 — Ria Panjwani
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“I feel wiser now haha you’re hilarious 😂😂” 🔗 — August Caroline
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“Unhinged, absurd, and oddly fun read, it just keeps escalating and I loved it.” 🔗 — Sankha Ghosh
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“I love how unhinged your connections are in every article! I can never guess where it's going until the end!” 🔗 — C. A.
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“This was equal parts hilarious and delightful. The imagery here was absolute prime status. Particularly the penis-pogo action 😂 I actually laughed out loud, and I thank you for that 🩵” 🔗 — Stephanie Macisco
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“Lol... I saved this, just took my time to read it now... smh.... terrible, terrible advice. Lol. Who even asks you questions?!” 🔗 — The Perception Journal
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“This was not where I expected this to go at all! Wildly unhinged, but very committed to the bit. I kept thinking surely it can’t escalate further, and then it absolutely did. Thanks for sharing.” 🔗 — Lara Huxley
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“This "Sexyverse Advice" piece is a wild ride through a chaotic, creative landscape that feels like it’s built on a foundation of pure "Terrible Advice." The contrast between the apocalyptic imagery of Mt. Doom and Chernobyl and the surreal visual of "twitchy-schnozzed squirrels" creates a sharp, funky friction. ” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“Mikey, this is a brilliant reminder that life isn't meant to be smoothed over. We've become addicted to the convenience of 'good' advice, but it's the terrible, messy, and absurd stuff that actually makes for a story worth telling.” 🔗 — Swonam Kieran Roul
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“Haha - love your writing so much.. 'I cultivate bullshit emeritus!' This made me lol.” 🔗 — Eva Solen
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“Substack needs more of this glorious creative chaos. The 'separate postcode' theory is a masterpiece of terrible wisdom. Keeping this in mind for the next time life gets too loud” 🔗 — romy
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“Thanks for sharing! Your response surely weaponizes the "escalation of the absurd" trope to solve a mundane social dilemma. If anyone has the courage to use Mr. Escobar's line to their family, they probably will never be invited to a family gathering again...” 🔗 — Mingying
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“Your writing has this wonderfully chaotic energy that somehow stays coherent despite how wildly it escalates. 😂 I came for the absurd premise, stayed for the commitment to the bit. Satire like this is harder to write than people think, and you nailed the pacing.” 🔗 — Arwa
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“This was such a unique idea ahahahha I never read something like this Coooool” 🔗 — TheARTofheART
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“Had me at your quote: "I have no idea how many years of reverse upward sagging it’d take to reverse and cancel-out your X years of standard floorward sagging enjoyed by conventional breasts, but a decent duration, surely? Enough to buy you enough time to invent some kind of zero-gravity device and just let them flop and wobble around freely forever." 🤣🤣🤣 ... wth!” 🔗 — The Perception Journal
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“Your writing is seriously entertaining! It’s like a breath of hilarious air. Thanks so much for keeping my feed funny. Yours is one of few posts I read where I actually laugh out loud 🩵” 🔗 — Stephanie Macisco
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“Vivid, visceral, and just the right amount of chaotic. You always manage to paint these incredibly bold pictures with your words. It’s hard not to feel the 'tremulous' energy you’re describing here.” 🔗 — Swonam Kieran Roul
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“These always crack me up, I love it!!” 🔗 — The Woman's Gaze
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“It has much better scientific reasoning than some books that blend physics with spirituality.” 🔗 — Ksenia S.
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“As always you have me giggling🤣🤣🤣.....but what stood out to me is how humor can sometimes expose social absurdities more effectively than serious arguments. ” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“this was so clever and hysterical, especially like the South pole as a wedding venue so your marriage literally can't go south. funny shit!!! subscribed!” 🔗 — Notes from the Hill
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“The comparison of 'supple squishy femme-b0is' being the microplastics to Fabio’s asbestos is top-tier. You’ve captured that exact point where the 'overlords' just swapped one extreme for another and called it progress. I respect the call for a world where there’s 'oodles of room' for all appetites ... I’m locking into your frequency because it’s rare to find this much grit and humor in the same room.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“What really impressed me is the hidden discipline underneath the silliness. That's why it never feels like random internet humor. It feels orchestrated. Like jazz. The notes sound improvised, but the musician knows exactly where the beat is.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“🫢🤭🫣 lol. Honestly, I'm not even gonna judge this terrible advice. I think the question was terrible as well. A terrible question, deserves a terrible advice. 😄” 🔗 — The Perception Journal
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“Love the terrible advice bits, they are so fun to read 🤣” 🔗 — Sharlene
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“Sometimes laughter can make a point that outrage cannot. The satire isn't really about revenge....it's about showing how ridiculous it is that mothers are still criticized for feeding their children. Always love reading your work!” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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“You are mostly suggested on my feed. I love your work. I have already been on your page many days ago. Thank you for sharing. I really find it interesting to read your articles.” 🔗 — by_her
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“Every paragraph somehow made less sense than the previous one, and yet I remained fully committed to finding out whether the ponies were involved. To be fair, I initially read "extra-gorgeous ponies" as "extra-gorgeous PEONIES," which made the sudden appearance of the Zodiac Killer even more alarming.” 🔗 — Michelle Blaine
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“There is a radical sovereignty in embracing this kind of creative chaos. While the rest of the world is looking for sanitized, "perfect" advice, you are documenting the anatomy of a "fabulous" sort of madness.” 🔗 — Polar Funk
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“Omg the content of your substack page seems fun!” 🔗 — The Next Teen Writer
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“These advice series always make my day! You absolutely rock 🤘, man!” 🔗 — Ksenia S.
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“This is why I love Substack!” 🔗 — Phillip Alcock
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