On eating the doctors: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Sara asks
Need tips for GAINING weight. Lost a bunch of weight and can’t stop losing it. Doctors are very concerned. So what do?
My answer
Eat the doctors.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-eating-the-doctors-todays-terrible-advice
😘 THANK YOU 😘
Dude! Thanks so much for reading my unconscionable Bullshit. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Which is shitloads. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
Oh? Hungry for more?
Then today’s your lucky day, you magnificent bastard you:
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE
Do enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
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“100%. Unapologetic confidence is an absolute superpower. When you fully own the groove, the energy is just plain infectious. Legend status. Crushing it Mikey!” 🔗 — Pratik Batha
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“🤣 oh I can't help but post an emoji on Substack for this one! Love it!” 🔗 — Happy Day by Day
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“These always crack me up, I love it!!” 🔗 — The Woman's Gaze
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“As always you have me giggling🤣🤣🤣.....but what stood out to me is how humor can sometimes expose social absurdities more effectively than serious arguments. ” 🔗 — Maria Grace
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Enjoy oodles more kudos at:
😘 https://mikeyclarke.substack.com/p/reviews 😘
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
I also write novels. If by some horrid miracle you’ve managed to read this far with your sanity still functional, then I reckon they’ll be right up your alley.
*ahem*
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests.
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED 😘
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some Terrible Advice of your own? Post your question in a comment, and I’ll conjure up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.