On swastika strapons: today's TERRIBLE advice
FB’s “TERRIBLE advice” group births GLORIOUS creative chaos. It’s funky. It’s fab. It ups life’s Good Bits. Do try some:
Carlos asks
Just found out my work colleague might be a neo nazi, what do I do?!
My answer
Cosplay as Hitler, don a swastika strapon, and tell him he's been a very naughty boy.
Original: https://mikeyclarke.co.nz/blog/2021/11/on-swastika-strapons-todays-terrible-advice
😘 THANK YOU 😘
Dude! Thanks so much for reading my unconscionable Bullshit. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Which is shitloads. You put yummy in my tummy, you know that?
Oh? Hungry for more?
Then today’s your lucky day, you magnificent bastard you:
Bullshit Hors D’oeuvres: TERRIBLE ADVICE
Do enjoy this snazzy sampling of hintCLICKABLEhint crowd-pleasers:
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“Lol that was pure comedy😂😂 I didn’t mean to laugh that hard🤣 great writing, you made my day❤️” 🔗 — Lakalia Farrington
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“I enjoyed this! The mix of random observations, humour and curiosity made it a lot of fun to read.” 🔗 — claudia
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“Hoooollllyyyy shit Mikey! The transition from "your husband might be keeping secrets" to "maybe she's running a wedding-vow-renewal side hustle at the South Pole" was so fucking wild that by the end I was fully invested in the horse conspiracy. 😂😂😂😂😂😂” 🔗 — Spinelli
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“Came for life coaching advice, somehow ended up with European royal genetics and the downfall of an empire 😂 10/10 journey.” 🔗 — The Trendy Psychiatrist
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😘 Read more at https://mikeyclarke.substack.com/p/reviews 😘
Bullshit Banquet: the SEXYVERSE NOVELS
I also write novels. If by some horrid miracle you’ve managed to read this far with your sanity still functional, then I reckon they’ll be right up your alley.
*ahem*
The Sex Commandos Thwart The Third Vaginal Apocalypse
IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance and flirting and delicious erotic TENSION, the rivalries throbbing between history’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and OODLES more frisky cunnilingus contests.
Part One: The Knights Of Raw Phwoar
Might Earth’s free nations drown under terrifying tornadoes of French femme-foam? Like hell, shout Britain’s Royal Marines Sex Commandos. Let’s assassinate France’s Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot! Come on. What’s the worst that could happen?
Part Two: The Soviet Sluts Superb
Turns out out-flirting Imperatrix Bardot is like trying to wank off Mt. Blanc when it’s wanking you back. Plan B: skedaddle, regroup, out-flirt the entirety of France and get loads more practice, then it’s stealthy-sneaky Round Two or bust.
Part Three: The Cervical Supremacy
Turns out flirting with every ladybro Rambo in France produces Rivals and Frenemies and Jilted Waifus galore. Smashing fun, but utter Kryptonite for Imperial kill-plans. Like, ever tried noshing off a world leader whilst a billion fanb0is fondle your buttocks? Want to? Read on!
Part Four: The Praetorian Prostitutes
The game’s up! The irresistible force of fanb0i-fondlemania has headbutted the immovable object of a gazillion furious Paris cops. They too thirst for Sex Commando patoot. Crunch time. Either launch one final rocket-strike against Bardot and France, or Earth’s free nations forever perish.
Part Five: [soon, baby]
Click these and enjoy these and your appetites will be SATISFIED 😘
Bullshit Emeritus: YOUR TURN
Fancy some Terrible Advice of your own? Post your question in a comment, and I’ll conjure up something deliciously wicked to put a smile on your face, just for you.